Today has been…. different. I started it out with scripture and prayer but that wasn’t the only thing that happened. I think… the Holy Spirit was with me today.
Ok, before you close this post shaking your head and thinking I’m nuts let me tell you how this went. I’m… baffled too. Honestly.
I found my bible after looking for it for a few days. It had concerned me that it went missing in my last move into this apartment. But when I found it I knew I had to try reading it again.
So this morning, I rubbed my eyes, and opened it to proverbs. As I turned to the right section my bible advised me that… that chapter was written by Solomon. Solomon is my new puppy’s name.
I was in the right spot.
I got into it a little to chapter 3 vs 5 & 6 and stopped.
“Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.”
Ok. Got it. Then I started to get ready for work. Took the puppy… Solomon… out and was going to leave when I got a call from my son’s school. His father had forgotten to go to an important end of school year meeting this morning so I had to do it over the phone.
By the time I got to work I didn’t feel well. My anxiety had sky rocketed and my stomach was alllllll off. I was feeling emotional and shaky and sick. I took my first break, called my best friend and FaceTimed another friend and went back to work.
My next call was a doozey and I had to escalate to my manager for her to take it. It shook me up further and I ended up in the ladies room crying and asking God to help me. Where was he?!
I tried to have lunch but failed to eat and decided to go home. I was useless today and… I didn’t know where the day had gone wrong.
Here’s where it all took a turn. I had texted my friend Aya before I left asking if she was working. I can’t tell you what possessed me to do that but… I did.
She was asking me to lunch via text as I was walking out the door at work.
Aya used to be my apartment manager at my old apartment building. Because of management rules we weren’t allowed to be friends until I moved out.
When I first met her, she told me then we’d be friends. She pointed to me and said it would happen. She chose me.
This was the second time we were hanging out and I really felt like God had put her in my life. Of course… God puts everyone in our lives but the pull towards her for spiritual reasons was obvious to me.
So, we went to lunch today. Just an hour and… I heard God speak to me through her. She listened to my heartbreak and pain from the last few days and gave me some wise words and a lot of understanding and empathy. This is what I got:
-wait. Now is not the time and I need to wait.
-we don’t define ourselves by our mistakes.
-we can’t just spend 5 mins a day in prayer, or with scriptures, if we really want to hear what God is telling us.
-God always answers in one way or another.
-I need to forgive myself… and others, if I want to move on in life.
-I need to put situations I can’t control out of my mind and… wait.
When I dropped her back off at work I felt enlightened. Spoken to. Loved. I know… weird, but true.
I told her I felt like God put her in my life. She smiled and said “I told you we’d be friends”.
I asked God where he was… and he sent me Aya. He gave me her love, acceptance, friendship, wisdom…
But this isn’t even the end. She asked me to take her Redbox movies back for her since I had one more errand to run.
After I took them I realized she’d given me one empty case. So I texted her.
On the way to take her the case I remembered my bible verse this morning.
“Trust in the lord with all your heart….”
I told Aya what my verse this morning was. She said “That’s good advice” and she smiled. Then she told me she had something for me.
She gave me a book to help guide me through scripture based on what’s going on in my life.
Tears came into my eyes and I told her she was going to make me cry. She had to take a phone call so I mouthed “thank you” at her, ducked my head so one one coming in would see I was crying and walked out the door to my car.
Ok God… I got it. Message received.
I have had a few things happen in my life, a few times I knew God spoke to me. Today… even when it seemed he was missing, he was sitting with me. He was right by my side… all day.
I don’t know… without my faith, without God’s love, where I’d be. I don’t like to even think about it.