It’s time. The post that I shouldn’t post is now goin’ down.
I took my link to this blog down from my IG account because a very wonderful mom figure to me started following my IG. I suppose if somehow she found this blog anyway, I just hope she knows deep down I’m a good person. Or I try to be.
Here we go.
If you read this blog, or have read recent posts, then you know I’m on dating apps. Two to be exact. Bumble and Tinder. I’m not ashamed. I’m living an authentic, truthful life here friends. It’s all I know.
I’m aware of what they say about Tinder. I’ll give you my take in a min here.
Dating isn’t what it used to be. No one really meets at the grocery store, gym or post office anymore. Does anyone even go to the post office?! Anyway…. in order to expand your horizons dating wise you gotta use the the internet. Just is what it is. All the single people I know at the moment are on one app or another or using an online dating service. These are the times we live in.
I got on before I moved out to stave off boredom and convince myself I wouldn’t die alone with 60 cats. (I’d started looking at the crazy cat lady starter kit on Amazon prior to the apps. Bad news folks…) My soon to be ex knew I had the apps, and I’m certain knew I went on dates when that actually started to happen. I think he just respected my privacy and genuinely does want me to be happy. He’s not a horrible person… just not my person. If that makes sense.
So, *sigh*, I can’t believe I’m going to post this here but…. dating on an app is like ordering from a giant menu, like The Cheesecake Factory. That menu is ridiculous and literally boggles my mind EVERY TIME I go there. Sometimes Tinder does the same thing.
The menu- it’s an awful way to look at it yet it’s the truth. It’s like speed dating except way more impersonal. You swipe right or left. That’s it. ALL BASED ON LOOKS. Of course there’s bios… no one reads those. NO ONE. My proof? I don’t even have any on mine. I’m 21 first dates deep. Not bragging. Only truth here people.
With the apps the way that they are, and as impersonal as online dating is anyway, you can imagine that it ends up feeling like you’re standing in a giant line waiting for your five minutes with a celebrity or something before they shuffle you away. You end up feeling very disposable and not super special. Again, just part of the whole thing. I had to accept it early on, and it felt weird. Still kinda does.
As a woman I prefer Bumble over Tinder because I can be selective about my interactions, but in all honesty I’ve had better luck with the men from Tinder.
Calm down. I didn’t say I was “getting lucky”. *smile*
With the large quantities of men my friends and I have been dating we’ve developed a “system”. They all have nicknames to start out with. It just helps keeping them all straight. It’s more a sign of dating too many men than disrespect for said men. Promise. Any time we stick to, or end up, with one guy for a while it’s called “naming the puppy”. We can’t claim this… it’s a line from the movie The Sweetest Thing with Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegate. It’s also in The Urban Dictionary so clearly we’re not the only ones using the term. Anywhoooo…
Considering how the social norms have changed none of the above mentioned truths is surprising. Divorce rates are high, people wait decades to get married, and Hallmark has a whole line of cards designed around blended families and more recently, apologizing or expressing sympathy for everything. Not sure if those things are connected, but there it is.
In the amount of time I’ve been using the app I’ve communicated with The Aquarius, the politician, old balls (sorry, but that was the nickname), The IT guy, the bartender, the barber, AZ, lumberjack, PB, the mechanic, and obviously several others. I’m not half as creative with nicknames as most of my friends are but I’m ok with that. The nicknames have always thrown me off when/if we start using real names anyway.
Here’s how I look at app dating- it’s an easy way for me to see what’s really out there. I’d love to meet my new best friend/lover in person vs online but I gotta be realistic about how things are and how I’d do that. It’s not easy in the dating world I’ll tell ya that.
About the different apps- Bumble is a much smaller pool of men and the woman initiates conversation. Tinder is huge and there is a process of elimination to get to the good guys. I’ve had luck with the big T but just because I’m very selective and I do my best to communicate as well as possible at the beginning. I have a good guy friend I met on Tinder. FRIEND. Never dated him. Last guy I had chemistry with, very nice guy, Tinder.
I’ve had good luck with it but, don’t get it twisted, lots of creeps and sketchy people you have to sort through. I’m not even going to start telling any of the bad stories here. It would take far too long and I meant this post to be fairly upbeat.
Well, there it is. App dating and how it fits into the picture for me at the moment. Sort of. Again, because I have no idea who reads this, no names or specifics. If it were just my story I’d go all into it. There’s a couple of really nice guys who deserve better than to read or possibly hear about me telling people how we met and what we did.
Honestly… I doubt any of them read this or would have any way of knowing about this little ranty blog of mine. Not sure it would occur to any of them to cyber-stalk me to begin with. Not sure they care that much. Just how it is.
‘Night readers. Have a great week!
**** Disclaimer: I’m not paid by anyone to blog about products or services, especially not Tinder or Bumble.