Here’s the thing…

So I’ve been busy this week. No posts for a couple of days. I didn’t need to, or have much to say. I needed quiet for a min. I’m sure whoever reads this was thankful for the break from my “gabbing”. Maybe. 

Now is as good a time as any to tell you about “men”. I’ve been putting this off, but there’s nothing to hide. Really. 

Let’s start by saying this will be an abbreviation, and when I’m feeling like a longer post is something I’m up for, I’ll get into details that kinda break “girl code”. Don’t tell on me! 

I knew early summer of last year that something had to happen in my life or I was going to die miserable. Sounds dramatic, but I really had gone to a dark place in my head. Early fall the ex knew we were done, and by November I had downloaded a dating app. 

Calm down. The ex knew about it. From the beginning. 

I wouldn’t say he endorsed me using an app, or was over the moon that I was leaving him, but from the day I told him I was done he knew I was going to date. He knew what had happened between us and where his part in it all was. I think now, even though he says he misses me, that he just wants me to be happy. 

This is the quick and dirty version. There was obviously ugly moments, tears and some fighting in the middle of all of the splitting up stuff. Mostly just because there’s never an easy way to break up with someone. Ever. 

Movin’ on…

The app. It was a suggestion from my two best friends in the whole world. The idea was to keep me occupied and give me hope that I wouldn’t end up alone forever. And ever. 

Now is the time in my story to tell you that I am picky. I don’t just mean a little picky. I mean PICKY. The ratio of men that I have chemistry with and will go on more than one date with is 1/10. I wish I was making this up. Before I was a mom the ratio was more like 1/5. I’m pretty sure I don’t have to explain the reason why it changed. 

So I’ve been on a few dates since about November. 

Don’t get crazy ideas. DATES people. If I’m picky about who I date then… yeahhhhh. 

The actual number of dates since the first of November is 16. Don’t ask why I kept track. I have no idea. Maybe to prove my ratio still stands. 

It does. 

Ok, some would ask about the “one” out of ten at this point, that I had chemistry with. *sigh* Sadly I didn’t get the second date. It wasn’t an option. 

Here’s the thing…. when I have chemistry with someone, because it’s a little bit rare, it lights up my world for a little while. It reminds me that it is possible to meet someone that just might appreciate all the weird little things that make me who I am. It reminds me that you never know who will be that person that you just wanna sit and talk to for hours about… anything. (I’d like to do more than talk but let’s not get ahead of ourselves). 

It’s not often that people take me a little by surprise and draw me in, so it makes me sad that I didn’t have a chance to… explore that. 

Dates will still happen for me. I’m four away from the next jackpot right?! Who knows I guess. 

I like to give most guys a chance. Mr 1/16 was not someone I would have expected. He was someone that I knew in advance had limited time to see me too. I didn’t care (still don’t). That’s just how chemistry works, either it’s there or it’s not. Three months later and I’d still go out with him again….

Let’s not talk about it. 

Currently, I have a date this next week. New guy. No idea how this will go. And a second date with a very nice guy, but…. I don’t feel the spark. I just have no concrete reason to turn him down. 

That’s it. For now. 

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