But what do you WANT?! 

Does anyone else ever think in movie quotes? Or wake up with songs in their head? The title of this blog reminds me of Field of Dreams when Kevin Costner and James Earl Jones are at the baseball game and they’re ordering a hot dog… anyone? No? Crickets? Alright…

I have to say that before I knew what I was doing with myself and I was still muddling around in my unhappy marriage/life that I did listen to (Audible) or read my fair share of “self help” books. I’m not ashamed to admit that I read Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert (this one is not considered self help) or listened to You Are A Badass, by Jen Sincero. Both books I highly recommend and can’t say enough great things about. Favorites of mine if you will.

During this self help book period of time one of my life-long besties was struggling with men, and dating. I told her what I had just started to figure out, from said self help books-you have to visualize what you want in order for it to happen. You have to believe you can have what you want, and you have to act as if it’s going to happen. I’m sure she loved it when I told her that, but she’s now happily dating ONE guy instead of sort of dating three, so who was right?! I’ll let you decide…

When I first started thinking about moving out, being a single parent, living on my own, I found visualizing it in my head very helpful. It gave me the “picture”, the reality, the end goal, to strive for and make happen. I started with picturing me doing it, believing I could, and then acting as if it was going to happen. Even when I had no idea how I would afford everything, or move all of my stuff by myself, and my heart hurt letting my son live with his daddy…acting “as if” was part of how I got here. 

Visualization works people. Ask anyone who has a vision board, or who sets goals and puts up reminders of them… or better yet…ask an athlete. When I played golf in high school my coach used to tell me to picture the ball landing on the green before I hit it. Even my choir teacher used to tell us to picture the notes we were signing sailing up over a fence to keep our tone pure and the notes on pitch. 

I’ve started picturing what I want in a man, believing I can have it, and acting as if it’s going to happen. It will friends, I have no doubt.

It may seem like the I’m putting the cart before the horse to visualuze what I want in a relationship before I’ve pulled my ish all the way together over here…but I really do think it’s part of achieving that end goal. If I know what I want, and it’s very clear in my mind, then I feel it’s going to happen. Eventually. It’s also helping me let go of stuff and rally a little better and quicker. 

Hope and faith are some powerful stuff. If you have both you can literally move mountains. All I want is someone who I have a connection/chemistry with, and is my best friend/lover. Sounds easier than moving mountains Right?! 

As I was getting ready to go to my movie last night I saw one of my female neighbors get into a car parked next to me. I happened to look over right as the driver leaned over to kiss her after she got in. I gotta say… it stung a little. I don’t know them but my mind knows that’s the kind of relationship I want. 

Sometimes I am not sure of what I want and those are times I float around a little bit, just living life everyday without a purpose. That’s not where I’m at right now. I’m not saying the end goal is a relationship, but it’s part of the bigger picture. 

I’ve been lonely long enough guys. Now I want a good guy, who kisses me when I see him, laughs with me, who I can tell my secrets to, and cuddle occasionally. There’s a lot more to the list but I wouldn’t want to bore you here…

It’ll happen. It all starts with knowing what you want. 

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