The last few months have been busy, and memorable, and sweet. My son and I have had a wonderful time. Here’s the part where I tell you my unemployment is about to run out and we can’t afford for me not to work. So…..

Momma has an interview on Friday. I’m excited and sad. I know that bubba needs me home, but he also needs to have a college fund and clothes when he outgrows the ones he has. 

I would love to say that there’s a different way for my son to be provided for and taken care of.

Here’s where my fear kicks in. My son is not speaking yet. He’s almost 3 and he can’t communicate. I pray we find the right person for him. I need someone patient and loving, and understanding. I need my body double. But seriously, I do. 

I know everything will be fine. I know he’s been such a trooper about all that he’s been through. I’m his advocate though, and I can’t advocate for him if I’m not able to be there all the time for him. I just hope he will be able to speak for himself eventually. Momma may not always be here. I hate it but there it is. What kind of parent would I be if I didn’t count on my son becoming more independent at some point?! 

But it all breaks my heart. This whole life we have sometimes just breaks my heart. 


One thought on “Heartbreak

  1. Reading your piece really touched my heart. Being a single mum myself I can empathise with how hard things can get but you have additional worries too…I pray that you will find the support and understanding that you and your son need and practical help that will put your mind at ease while you go out to work. Never forget that you are a warrior woman and your son will appreciate that as he gets older – you are his role model and therefore he has an important advantage already.
    Ask for help wherever you can, from organisations and support groups – someone somewhere will be able to help.
    I’m sorry I can do so little…I would like to send you my poetry book, it has lots of nice little poems that could serve as a pick me up and make you feel less alone, and maybe my children’s book which is a lovely little story about life from the perspective of a little boy with autism – I don’t want to upset you or make you feel I am pushing anything onto you at all – I simply want to reach out as one mother to another.

    God bless xxx

    ps Please feel free to contact me any time you like.You will both be in my prayers.

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