Heartbreak

The last few months have been busy, and memorable, and sweet. My son and I have had a wonderful time. Here’s the part where I tell you my unemployment is about to run out and we can’t afford for me not to work. So…..

Momma has an interview on Friday. I’m excited and sad. I know that bubba needs me home, but he also needs to have a college fund and clothes when he outgrows the ones he has. 

I would love to say that there’s a different way for my son to be provided for and taken care of.

Here’s where my fear kicks in. My son is not speaking yet. He’s almost 3 and he can’t communicate. I pray we find the right person for him. I need someone patient and loving, and understanding. I need my body double. But seriously, I do. 

I know everything will be fine. I know he’s been such a trooper about all that he’s been through. I’m his advocate though, and I can’t advocate for him if I’m not able to be there all the time for him. I just hope he will be able to speak for himself eventually. Momma may not always be here. I hate it but there it is. What kind of parent would I be if I didn’t count on my son becoming more independent at some point?! 

But it all breaks my heart. This whole life we have sometimes just breaks my heart.