Start over

I’m up really early today. I’ve been sleeping till 9 or 10 most days that little man lets me. This morning he was up at about 4:30ish and I haven’t really slept since then. Finally got out of bed at 8:30. He went back to sleep at 7 or so. *sigh*

I’ve been having a rough patch with my anxiety and feeling physically good. It makes me feel like a dark cloud hangs over me every day….like at any moment I could freak out, not feel well, or….just die I suppose. 

I’ve increased my vitamin D intake, and done all my “little tricks” to feel better mentally and physically. I’ve decided the best thing is….to start over.

I was very determined last year to make 2014 the best mental health year and to conquer my fears. I don’t do resolutions. Instead I’m grateful for the past years lessons and set goals for the new year. I can’t say I conquered all my fears this year, but I gave it my utmost best and that’s enough for me.

This year I just want a fresh start. I want to look forward to the year and to…life. I have a wonderful therapist, a kind doctor, and family and friends all here to support me. I want to be as healthy as possible and continue to grow emotionally. I want to experience as much of life as possible and not let fear and anxiety hold me back.

But for now I just need to lower my self induced stress level. I always try so hard during the holidays to make everything perfect for everyone. This year I decided hand crocheted infinity scarves for everyone I know was a good idea. It’s December 23, Christmas Eve eve,  and I have two left to make. I won’t make the cut off date of Christmas day, but I’m going to stress myself out tremendously trying. I also wanted to do Christmas cards, hand written, and a long list of baking. All of this plus no snow and 50 degree temps makes me feel “grinch-y”.

So….this morning while trying to psych myself up for the day when this happened…..

image

I decided to do my best for the day by starting over (with the oatmeal at least).

I hope you’re all relaxed and happy this holiday season. If not, like me, you too can start over in 2015.

Love to you all.

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