I just need to say I’m having a hard time. The details are long and tedious, and depressing, and I’m not trying to focus on the negative. The basics are that I’m in trouble at work. The worst kind of trouble where I am actively seeking other employment….because I need to be able to bring home some money. You get the picture.
So, it’s Monday, and I struggle in the morning anyway, and my anxiety is up, and….I just wanna crawl into a hole and hide. BUT, I can do this. My life is good. My “gratitude list” is long. I have soooooo much to happy, and thankful for, and I see examples of that every day. Despite all of my positive thoughts, my gratitude list, my hug and kiss from my husband, and vote of confidence from my friends….I wanted to cry on the way here. I am stressed. I am broken. I feel discouraged and down. Right when I think I need to call in sick and go home and paper the town with my resume one of my favorite, most uplifting songs, comes on the radio. I smile, and say a silent “thank you”, and finish my drive to work.
But WAIT! There’s more. My second call of the day is a very funny man, who starts the call off with funny, clean, appropriate jokes. He makes me smile. Then at the end of the call he says “My job was to make you smile today and encourage you, and if I’ve done that even a little then I’ve succeeded. God Loves you, and it was my job to tell you today.”
I had no words. My frame of mind being what it is today, my feeling of failure hanging around me like a fog, and I swear all it took was the words of a stranger to make me feel better. I sometimes get these little “notes” from above. I have always thought of them as God’s way of telling me to keep my chin up, he has good things planned for me. Even if I get fired, and we struggle financially, and my depression threatens to move in on me again…God never blinks.
Which brings me to my last little thing for this blog. My mother gave me a book a few months back that changed my whole perspective on things, gave me a boost, and I have since gifted it to friends I knew would like it and appreciate the thoughts in it. I’m going to add a link at the bottom of this blog for it. I highly recommend it even to people who aren’t struggling with anything at the moment.
Enjoy the rest of the day all. I will be posting more recipes soon. I’m down 5 lbs, and eating better, so forgive me the reduction of butter and sugar. We’ll still find a way to eat cookies, don’t worry. They just may have Flax seed snuck into them. (trust me, you won’t even notice!)