I really am in crisis mode. I can’t hardly function at this point and I need a solution soon. My son doesn’t sleep through the whole night, or by himself. He’s 17months old, and that’s literally how long it’s been since I slept a full night. I really can’t do it anymore. I’m exhausted, and most of the time don’t feel well because I’m so tired. I fall asleep at my desk at work most days. I don’t want to have a nervous breakdown…that’s not the ideal outcome of this little situation.
Let’s clarify the details shall we? His crib is in our bedroom. Has been since he was born. He loves his “Dada” but won’t go to him at night, or if he needs comfort. He doesn’t sleep in our bed but has a terrible way of wanting Mama to hold him till he falls asleep, and a lot of the time wakes up if I try to put him down. I can’t sleep very well while holding him- he kicks, elbows, wiggles, sweats, and in general isn’t comfortable to try to cuddle while sleeping. It’s not working for me and as my husband says, I’m like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde lately. Super cranky and sullen in the middle of the night and sweet during the day despite lack of sleep. I can’t help it, sleeping intervals of two hours at a time all night would make anyone wanna slam doors, ignore baby wails, and sleep on the couch with ear plugs.
I know it’s not entirely bubba’s fault. I’ve set up this bad system and I have to be the one to change it and try to help little man be a little more independent. All of this is going to start today and take, you got it, some bravery on my part (#6). He’s my first, my only, and for the last almost two years if I woke up worried for some reason I could just look over and verify that he’s still breathing. I know there’s video baby monitors now…but those freak me out…
I of course recently happened to read an article about those monitors and how other people can see your baby and vice versa because of the frequencies they use. Yes I read it on the interwebs. Of course I think everything I read is the truth. Let’s move on…
In the end, so I don’t have some weird “Norman Bates” kind of kid, he needs to get used to sleeping the full night, in his own bed. It’s what is best for all.
Starts tonight. We’ll see if I can stick with it. Please cross your fingers, think good thoughts, and quite possibly pray really hard for me. I will need it, and so will bubba. This might involve letting him cry it out for a couple nights.
*sigh* I never knew being a parent would mean possibly ignoring your offspring to help them help themselves. Feels wrong, but my Mom swears she did it with us, and all three of us lived.
Happy Wednesday! Lots of pictures promised tomorrow…tonight we BAKE! XO