It was a test of bravery from the beginning for me to start this blog. I like to steer clear of any format that might expose me…in any way. I struggle with isolation when I’m really down, which then becomes a habit/cycle. So, in order for this therapy vehicle to work for me I have to continually push myself. It’s great to post recipes, and talk about my daily life, but really I need to stretch my own limits.
I’ve been rolling this challenge around in my head for a few weeks. For me it takes courage just to think about taking this on, not to mention putting myself on the spot with all of you. If I’m ever going to see progress and move forward I need to do a few things I’ve been afraid of however, and there’s no way around that.
Here’s the challenge-a month to do some of the things I really need do to but scare me. 30 days, more or less, to test myself, and prove my own strength. I am aiming for a brave thing a day, regardless of how big or small. I have a list to work on. I have improvements to make in my life.
This starts today. The reason it starts today is simple….I let myself be afraid and procrastinate. I let fear hold me back. I will no longer tell myself “I’ll start tomorrow” about anything.
My first brave thing is to take on this challenge. I am thinking that at the end of 30 days I’ll just keep going. I am hoping if I make bravery a regular thing in my life that I will no longer think of things as brave. It will just be part of life to try new things and not think about all of the anxiety driven “what-ifs”.
I miss the person I was before I let my life be driven by my fear. I wasn’t always the fearful woman I am now. I became this person over time. The old me would have wanted to slap the present me. I used to actually not sweat the small stuff. Mostly.
This is HUGE for me. I have trust issues and control issues to top off my anxiety and depression. My chemistry in my body is off for sure, and that’s part of this challenge. I need to start my vitamins again and possibly other medication. It may be rough for a bit.
I’m afraid and sweating already, but excited! Regardless I’m sure I’ll take something away from this.
For now, I’m wasted tired. It’s been a fitful sleep kind of week. Cross your fingers that my son sleeps past 6 tomorrow.
Goodnight and happy weekend all!